Committment

Recently I began reading a book called What's it like to be married to me? by Linda Dallow. Actually, I am in a small group that is reading the book together as a sort of Bible study. To say the book is a challenge would be a gross understatement. While I recommend the book to every gal who is, was or intends to be married; the book is not for the faint of heart. It cuts to the core of some very real challenges we must overcome in order to make our marriages work.

At the end of the first set of assignments, there is one particular task that I really enjoyed. I finished reading the chapter just before heading to Boston for a visit. The thought of seeing all the places that were important during the birth of our nation, hearing and reading about the heros and battles, and learning about the uniqueness of the founding documents set my mind afire. So with that as the background, I dove head first into the assignment.

At the end of chapter 1, we were supposed to write a personal Marriage Purpose Statement. The intent is to think about, pray through and form a statement that could serve as a roadmap to where you want your marriage to go. The thought is that if we don't plan for success, we very well may end up with a disaster. Since I've been married almost 33 years, the following statement is more like an affirmation of where I have come from as much as it is where I want to go. The following is what I wrote.

Declaration of Commitment (an imitation of the Declaration of Independence)

When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for this wife to strengthen the bonds which have connected her with her husband and with great respect to the opinion of God it requires that I should declare the causes which compel me to remain committed. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all women are in need of love and all men are in need of respect, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable duties to leave their mother and father and to cleave unto one another and that to secure these duties insures the two shall become one. Marriages are instituted by God deriving their power from the Holy Spirit. And whenever a marriage becomes destructive it is the Right of the wife to alter her ways and institute new patterns which lay its foundation on biblical principles and organizing her life in such form, as to most likely effect her life for God's glory. The Almighty dictates that marriages long established should not be dissolved for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evil behavior prevails. But when a long train of changes persist pursuing the same Object, God, they shall produce a design which reduces the chance of separation. Such has been the patient experience of this wife. The history of and with the present Patriarch of the Arebalo Family is a history of mistakes, grace, love and commitment all having a direct effect on this woman's life. To prove this, let the evidence of our 33rd anniversary be submitted to a candid world.

I would also add that inspite of the challenges, a life with this man as we pursue God together has been worth every minute. And I would say to those who are in a hard place right now, seek first the kingdom of God and remain committed.